Oh to be a cat...

"CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.


They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are

fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for

the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in

order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my

dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit

on the carpet.



Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,

I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what

this means, and how to use it to my advantage.



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly

released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is

obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him

communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports

my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in

an elevated cell, so he is safe.



For now . ."

*Emailed by my good friend Karen- source unknown.